We Don’t Have To Try
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(Lose the Net by Rasmus Faber Courtesy of Epidemic Music)
It’s just amazing how good questions lead us naturally to good answers, and how beautiful questions lead to even better answers! When we open ourselves to the things we don’t know, we open the doors to discovery and greater understanding.
I’m Scott Lennox and you’re listening to The Beautiful Question, a weekly consideration of things that matter every day.
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When we know how to do something, we don’t have to try—we just do it. That’s especially true when we’re giving ourselves the sublime gift of being who we really are.
Join me this week as we consider ways of returning to ourselves as we let go of some of the obstacles we’ve put in our own way. Stay with me.
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Have you ever stopped to consider that it takes no special force or effort or act of will to be who we are? When we simply allow it or lean into it, perhaps making a game of it, we live naturally and organically.
We were born knowing how.
We struggle and put ourselves in unnecessary pain when we act or present ourselves as something we’re not. That’s especially true when we’re trying to make ourselves fit someone else’s model for our lives, usually in an effort to please them or keep the peace. Problem is, no matter how hard we try, it simply can’t be done. And to compound the problem, we often end up losing our sense of ourselves in the process.
Regardless how much someone may love or care about us, and regardless how much they try to understand us, they can never truly know us from the inside out. The assumptions they make about us (and the assumptions we make in return) lead to greater complications.
Consider how often you’ve experienced needless grief or frustration or suffering or heartache because you acted in ways that weren’t resonant with what’s really good for you. And ask yourself if you did it because you wanted to please someone else.
Most of us have done that in one form or another. Learning to get beyond it is part of learning to be fully human, fully ourselves, and fully alive.
The good news is that when we stop comparing ourselves to other people, we naturally return to being in balance and enjoying better health at every level.
So how do we accomplish that?
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Part of the answer is found in the quiet elegance of being authentic. By authentic, I mean that we think and act and make choices that are in our own best interest. We do things that are natural and healthy for us. Long before we started adapting or adjusting to every social input or demand that came our way, we knew how to simply be.
Returning to that state is not as hard as you might be telling yourself. It involves simple, intentional steps.
Each time we allow ourselves to drop into “conscious neutral,” we quietly return to being in resonance with ourselves. That includes taking off the social masks we first put on because we believed they would shield us from danger or get us accepted or cause people to see us the way they want us to be.
As ironic as it sounds, one of the best ways to accomplish that is to do nothing at all, at least in terms of outward effort.
When we pause for a while and let go of our mind-spinning, self-imposed list of all the things we “have to get done” and allow ourselves the time and space we need to just breathe, our truest self shows up and knows exactly what to do and how to do it.
It really is that easy.
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As a way of demonstrating that simple truth to yourself, stop what you’re doing and sigh a quietly audible “Ahhh” as you breathe out slowly and settle into right here and right now. During that moment (and for as long as you like), you don’t have to “try.” In fact, you don’t need to do or accomplish anything. You don’t have to struggle. You don’t have to force anything. You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to reach an elevated state of enlightenment. And you don’t have to please anyone else.
You’ve released yourself from all those artificial pressures.
Intentionally leaning into that moment, allow yourself to become deeply quiet from the inside out, gently bringing your awareness to your breath, again and again. Allow your thoughts to flow through your mind without stopping them or analyzing them. There is no pressure and no demand.
Just be aware of your slow and steady breathing and settle into the awareness of what quietly arises. Just notice it.
What parts of you become more relaxed as you let go? What do you notice about your mental and emotional experience? How do you feel in this moment compared to how you felt a few minutes ago?
With no judgment at all, again, just notice.
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That brings us to this week’s three Beautiful Questions.
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Question One: What false rules or expectations or demands have you been living under?
Question Two: How has that changed how you think and feel about yourself?
Question Three: If you were to live in the most natural and healthy ways, what would you change first?
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After you’ve sat quietly with these questions, write and tell me what you experienced. I’ll be happy to hear from you.
As I say each week,
My Light with Your Light!
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I’m glad we can engage this way every week as we consider things that matter and what to do about them. If nothing else, I hope you feel inspired to look more deeply at ways of caring for yourself. You deserve that.
You can be further inspired by visiting my friends at Kosmos Journal. That’s K O S M O S Journal. Their mission is to inform, inspire, and engage global transformation in harmony with all life. You can easily find them online at Kosmos Journal dot O R G.
And each week at thebeautifulquestion.com, you can read the illustrated transcript of each podcast as you listen. We’ve also included an archive of all previous podcasts, including guided relaxation audios that can help you practice letting go on a daily basis.
If you find these podcasts useful, I encourage you to share them and tell others about them. That’s a great way of helping me get a voice of calm and collaboration and balance and encouragement out into the world.
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I’m Scott Lennox, and this has been The Beautiful Question.
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The Beautiful Question is a One Light production, written, produced, and engineered by Scott Lennox at HeartRock Studios in Fort Worth, Texas, as a way of paying forward to life, being fully present, becoming better engaged with things that truly matter in a complex world, and committing to a healthier future for all of us.