Beneath The Anger
[ theme music rises ]
(Lose the Net by Rasmus Faber Courtesy of Epidemic Music)
Isn’t it amazing how good questions lead us so naturally to good answers, and how beautiful questions lead to even better answers! When we open ourselves to the things we don’t know, we’ve opened the doors to discovery and wonder and greater understanding.
I’m Scott Lennox and you’re listening to The Beautiful Question, a consideration of things that matter every day.
[ brief pause ]
Photo of the Arkansas River: Troy Parker
It’s easy to get tangled up in our surface emotions and lose sight of the calm and loving presence that is always beneath them.
Join me this week as we consider ways of tapping into our inner wise, compassionate self as a way of healing what is happening on the surface. Stay with me.
[ brief pause ]
A few years ago, one of our local cancer care agencies asked me to meet with their staff members who were struggling with increasing grief. As soon as I walked in, I could feel the emotional charge. Their director told me they lost a couple of co-workers and that a number of the patients and clients for whom they have been providing care had died as a result of cancer or its side effects. She became tearful and told me that like many on her team, she was “taking it all really hard.”
When everyone had gathered in their large meeting room, I shared my own history with them, and we began talking in earnest. At first, most of them were reticent to speak a word and tried hard to hold back their tears. Finally, one of them said softly, “I am just so damn angry!”
Having said that, a few others began openly weeping and nodding in agreement. When I asked the one who had spoken if she was willing to talk about it, she said something people have told me for years. “I’m afraid of what will happen if I really face it and let it out. I won’t be able to function. I’m afraid I won’t be able to help my patients… but I’ve had enough of this anger. I know it’s hurting me.”
Instead of focusing on the anger itself, I asked her if she was willing to allow herself to become still in the presence and safety of the people who cared about her. When she nodded and closed her eyes and became still, I asked her, “What is it that’s sitting just beneath or behind your anger.”
“Fear,” she said. “I’m afraid it will just keep happening and that I won’t be able to help. Under my anger is fear.”
I gave her a moment to sit in silence with her awareness, then asked if she was willing to embrace the fear itself and see what was just under that? Almost immediately, she settled into her chair, and her face becoming serene. “Peace,” she said, smiling slightly. “There’s peace deep inside me. I can feel it.”
For the next few minutes, she imagined the peace within her wrapping its arms around the fear she’d been feeling and embracing it. As she did, she softly sighed and began to smile. “I can feel the fear draining away and the rest of the anger washing away with it,” she said. “This is amazing!”
Others in the room were wiping tears away as I explained that one of the ways we heal the most deeply is to notice what we’re experiencing on the surface—whatever it is—and allow ourselves to simply and quietly embrace it without judging it or qualifying it.
As you already know, this isn’t just about the struggles of people working in healthcare or coping with diseases. It’s about our everyday experiences at every level, especially during this time of sweeping changes and increasing stressors. Each time we become gently present with ourselves and choose to stop judging or criticizing or blaming ourselves for being human, our natural compassion and wisdom come to the surface.
In that unpressured space, healing happens naturally and gracefully. We don’t have to struggle to experience it. It’s built into each of us and is always available.
[ brief pause ]
This week’s Beautiful Questions are designed to make that process easier. I invite you to sit with them and see what spontaneously arises.
[ brief pause ]
Question One: What have you been feeling recently that is keeping you from relaxing and staying present with yourself?
Question Two: As you sit quietly, and as you wisely and lovingly embrace your emotions the way you would hold someone you care about, what good things happen next?
Question Three: Are you willing to allow this to become an intentional practice for the next two weeks?
[ brief pause ]
I look forward to hearing what you discover as you lean into what is always just beneath the surface of your emotions. Write and tell me about it.
As I say each week,
My Light with Your Light!
[ theme music & sign-off ]
I’m happy we can engage this way as we consider things that matter and what to do about them. If nothing else, I hope you feel inspired to look more deeply at ways of caring for yourself.
You can be further inspired by visiting my friends at Kosmos Journal. That’s K O S M O S Journal. Their mission is to inform, inspire, and engage global transformation in harmony with all life. You can easily find them online at Kosmos Journal dot O R G.
And at thebeautifulquestion.com, you can read the illustrated transcript of each podcast as you listen. We’ve also included an archive of all previous podcasts, including guided relaxation audios that can help you practice letting go on a daily basis.
If you find these podcasts useful, I encourage you to share them and tell others about them. That’s a great way of helping me get a voice of calm and collaboration and balance and encouragement out into the world.
[ brief pause ]
I’m Scott Lennox, and this has been The Beautiful Question.
[ brief pause ]
The Beautiful Question is a One Light production, written, produced, and engineered by Scott Lennox at HeartRock Studios in Fort Worth, Texas, as a way of paying forward to life, being fully present, becoming better engaged with things that truly matter in a complex world, and committing to a healthier future for all of us.